also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
