Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
i drank out of a bidet.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
You are the jesus of drinking
Next time I will hook the Xbox before I get high I spent 30minuts thinking I was playing the Simpsons game when it was in reality a tv episode
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
And then he peed in my hair
Randomize
