My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Randomize
