Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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