Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
