wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
