he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
Randomize
