i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Randomize
