thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
