Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
