wakey wakey hands off snakey
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
All the alcohol I spilled on myself must have acted as a disinfectant or something. I haven't showered in three days and I still don't have a staph infection from sleeping on the lawn with you.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
