I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
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