I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
