I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
