Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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