This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
