You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Randomize