He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so let's talk penis.
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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