Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize