so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
