If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
