so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
