Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
