can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Randomize