pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Randomize
