I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
