Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
