that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
