i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
