I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
We need to get me chipped asap
Randomize
