Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
