when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
