Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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