So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
