You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
