Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
