what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
