Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Did you just affectionately call me a scrotum?
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