I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
We need a shit load of segways right now
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
