Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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