whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
