He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
