She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize