well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
Randomize
