Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Randomize
