I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
