Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
