New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
