my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize