Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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