Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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