I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize