He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
Randomize
