i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
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