Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
