anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
