I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
Randomize
