it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
