that's an acceptable place to lick
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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