yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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