i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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