Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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