These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
