: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
You need to go! It’s a midwestern wedding - the single girls out there think life ends at 25 if they don’t have a picket fence and family. That’s when your penis introduces himself
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