She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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