He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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