Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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