...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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