Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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