One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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