"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
